I spend a lot of time, reviewing my performance as a mother.
Who else other than me is marking my performance?
No one. Not really.
Sure on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, perhaps others are. Perhaps other mums at kinder and other social groups are dissecting what you do and thinking, she's not winning mother of the year.
But does it really matter if they think that? Who does it impact?
When I think about my role as a mother, I think about all I want to achieve. Ultimately over the long term what is my goal?
Of course it is to raise happy, healthy and successful children. (Successful being in the eye of the beholder).
But then how do we sustain those goals.... daily?
We aren't kicking goals everyday, are we? Well I know I'm certainly not.
I'm not perfect!
But I am sure if some one sat down with my children (well the older two anyway) and asked them about me, what it is I do, what it is I do for them, they'd no doubt mention my flaws, but they'd also talk about me with a spark in their eyes that tells you they love me. just the way I am.
So I guess in a sense, I'm perfectly imperfect.
I love to be a YES mum. Yes we can bake, yes we can craft, yes we can watch that movie, yes we can go to the beach, yes, yes, yes.
But other days there is the image, were I have epic fails. You know the one where they nag me to get off the computer and I just want to send one more email. The one where they want me to take them to the park but I am too tired, or I just don't feel I have enough time. The one where I get cross and yell.
But I know deep down not to hang onto those fails, because I know they are not epic, not really. I also know my children don't hang onto those fails. I know that despite the sometimes nagging that they are bored, they will look back and have fond memories.
So this is what I need to do too.
I will focus on the positives, let the fails fade away, they are not important, they do not define me. I am perfectly imperfectly to those that matters and that is what matters to me.
This month Kate from Picklebums is hosting Perfectly Imperfect, writing a number of posts to remind us that being imperfect is AOK.