I spend a lot of time, reviewing my performance as a mother.
Why?
Who else other than me is marking my performance?
No one. Not really.
Sure on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, perhaps others are. Perhaps other mums at kinder and other social groups are dissecting what you do and thinking, she's not winning mother of the year.
But does it really matter if they think that? Who does it impact?
When I think about my role as a mother, I think about all I want to achieve. Ultimately over the long term what is my goal?
Of course it is to raise happy, healthy and successful children. (Successful being in the eye of the beholder).
But then how do we sustain those goals.... daily?
We aren't kicking goals everyday, are we? Well I know I'm certainly not.
I'm not perfect!
But I am sure if some one sat down with my children (well the older two anyway) and asked them about me, what it is I do, what it is I do for them, they'd no doubt mention my flaws, but they'd also talk about me with a spark in their eyes that tells you they love me. just the way I am.
So I guess in a sense, I'm perfectly imperfect.
I love to be a YES mum. Yes we can bake, yes we can craft, yes we can watch that movie, yes we can go to the beach, yes, yes, yes.
But other days there is the image, were I have epic fails. You know the one where they nag me to get off the computer and I just want to send one more email. The one where they want me to take them to the park but I am too tired, or I just don't feel I have enough time. The one where I get cross and yell.
Hell, I'm not Mary Poppins!
But I know deep down not to hang onto those fails, because I know they are not epic, not really. I also know my children don't hang onto those fails. I know that despite the sometimes nagging that they are bored, they will look back and have fond memories.
So this is what I need to do too.
I will focus on the positives, let the fails fade away, they are not important, they do not define me. I am perfectly imperfectly to those that matters and that is what matters to me.
This month Kate from Picklebums is hosting Perfectly Imperfect, writing a number of posts to remind us that being imperfect is AOK.
Cheers
Fails, yep...been there done that. Most of my life it seems has been characterised by same. The trouble is if we don't try, we'll never learn and failure is just the result of trying and finding out that we had more to learn.. it's really just part of the process and not a summary of our worth. The trouble is we don't all learn in a straightforward manner it has quite a bit of a curve to it!How I loved hearing that applied to me at job I was just learning. It put things into perspective. My out and out failures I take it now that I was on the wrong path altogether and neede to do some adjustments to my direction. Thanks for starting me off...I love it when you share openly about your life it is very helpful and your children are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI really believe that it is good for our kids to see us fail now and then. It is good for them to know that even adults make mistakes, get angry, and do stupid things. And it is good for them to know that despite these fails we keep going, we say sorry, we try to do better tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteBeing imperfect is important! Thanks for celebrating it with me!
Your wish to be a great Mum just radiates from your blog - not just today, but everyday.
ReplyDeleteYou do a magnificant job and are so hands on.
'Perfect' is a myth, 'committed, invested, loving'...they're the reality.
:-)
Love it! Love Kate's idea too - must check it out. It's so easy to get hung up on it all and forget about our god given common sense. :)
ReplyDeleteI like to refer to my motherhood failures as "trial and error". lol. Being perfect is overrated anyway ;-)
ReplyDeleteGreat post Mandy! I totally agree that teaching our kids that to be human means to fail every now and then, but that it does not define who we are. Here's to focusing on the positives, both in us and in our kids!
ReplyDeleteWhenever I have lost my patience and I am yelling I think to myself..."ooh there comes my mother of the year award...not"...I think the fact that we try so hard to be good parents is half the battle, even when we fail. Miss 6 says to me all the time "I just love you so much I could burst"...must be doing something right!!
ReplyDeleteIf only we could all be Mary Poppins!! I know exactly how you feel and have to remind myself that I will remember the bad times but my kids probably won't. Great post. Visiting from the Perfectly Imperfect link up x
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post, and so true. I think I'm doing okay at the whole parenting thing, and then I sit in bed at night once they're all asleep and I go back over what I didn't do so great at that day....losing my cool, raising my voice, neglecting what could've been play time with the kids for a quick blog post, not being organised enough to have them in bed early enough to read them a story that night.
ReplyDeleteNever do I sit in bed and think "good job with that handwriting homework, excellent refereeing of the latest twin toy hostage dispute, excellent nutritious dinner tonight".
I'm sure that, if we were all perfect, we'd still find something that we thought could be improved. Human nature really.
Really enjoyed this post. Thanks for including it in the DP Blog Carnival!