Happiness is one of those things, you know I work so hard to achieve it, and yet sometimes struggle to achieve it.
When I think back to when I was growing up and what happiness looked like, the one thing I really wished for was to have my mum at home. Nothing over the top, I mean my parents were separated, I didn’t wish for them to be together, I just wished to come home from school to a warm home with a mum waiting for us with a smile on her face. (She was at work supporting us!)
I think about that thought a lot, especially now that I am a mother myself and I’ve always said to my husband, even before he was my husband, “I’m going to pick my kids up from school each day and be there”
As a Child my happy place was “a warm home with a mum who was there to care and love me”
Outside of having a loving home when I was growing up I had a great core group of friends. Some of these friends I lived with when I left home, some of them are my children’s Godparents, and some of them I consider my closest friends still. But we live apart, all over the country.
But sometimes my biggest battle is the desire to have those friendships again now, in my local community. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends, but sometimes I believe the line between friend and acquaintance is blurred.
As an Adult I envisage my happy place is “having a home where people feel they can come in and out, a cuppa, a wine, drop their kids, pick up mine, stay for dinner just because, well we’re here now! A relaxed place where people feel valued and I do in return.”
Recently when my husband and I talked about the prospect of moving if opportunity knocked (career wise) my husband said “we’d be sad to go, but really it’s not like we live out of anyone’s pocket, so really what’s keeping us here” this comment is so true, but yet makes me feel sad.
I (think) I know what my happy place looks like, yet, for some crazy reason I don’t know how to make it happen for me right now.
I know I can control the family aspect, ‘being there’, well to a degree, unfortunately I work too, but I’ve worked hard to ensure that if I can’t be there, my husband will, either way as parents, as a team we will be there for our children.
We will pick the kids up from school, provide them with nourishment, listen to them when they share their day, nurture their education.
But there is more to happiness, one day my children will be grown up and I’ve learnt the value in looking after you. I’ve started to do things for myself, blogging for a start, attending conferences, and running.
It’s the day to day that I feel there is something lacking. And maybe on a day to day it is unrealistic to expect to socialise, we are very busy. But even on a weekly basis. We do kinder drop off and pick up and try to get to the park during these times to spend time with people other than ourselves.
However if these scheduled events don’t happen in our daily lives, who is knocking on our door to see us?
Thank goodness for Facebook, it really does connect us in a sense, some days it may be my only form of conversation, where would I be without that?
So I will continue on my merry way, nurturer my children’s needs and be there, building on our existing relationship and doing my best to make them feel loved and valued.
And I will continue to be me, hold my door open, support others where I can and maybe I’ll look back in 20 years and have valued friendships to look back on that I am truly grateful for.
For family and friends, and the connection, real relationships bring, truly is my happy place!
What is your happy place, who or what truly makes you happy? I’m joining in with Nathalie from Easy Peasy Kids in her 30 Day Happy Challenge. Why not stop by as well.