I feel like my life is spiralling out of control.
I know I need to reel it in, but for the first time this year, I honestly feel like I can't.
Everyone needs me. My commitment to others is too great, yet my commitment is to my family, how can that be too great?
I'm struggling to juggle a job that is overwhelming, I'm questioning, can I really do this part time in the the evening, but yet leaving is not an option.
I'm struggling to juggle my husbands work commitments, with mine, with school integration, dance concerts. I can't walk away from any of it.
I don't want it to get me down, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't.
Some would suggest Blogging is just another commitment. But it's not, not in my eyes anyway. It's time is flexible, and a release, something that is solely mine, for me.
And then there is my fitness. 2011 is meant to be about running for me. But I have not run since the City2Surf mid August, OK I have been sick, but I'm now struggling to get back into it.
I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in over a month, but again, all the 'must do' commitments come first and then I either have children hanging off my leg, or the gym is closed.
Why are there so many things to juggle as a mother, everything I do, requires compromise from somewhere else, letting someone down, including myself.
I know I'm being all ranty, but this is how I am feeling right now. I know I need to get on with it, keep chipping away at it.
Focus
I know the scales will tip in the other direction, but this will not happen on it's own. So I will go now, and continue working on my 'to do' list, and hope that with each task I cross off a small weight will lift off of my shoulders.
Regards
Mandy
It's probably not much comfort right now, but you are not alone! There are many of us who struggle with juggling everything, me included, and I only have 1 child! I was in school part time, working part time, and I felt like both those made me a part time mum and a barely-there-at-all wife. I dropped school (for now) and it's helped. But I understand there are things that cannot be dropped. Maybe if you could write a list every week it might at least help mentally? I find when I'm overwhelmed, if I write everything down then it is out of my head, and it makes it easier to "manage". Sometimes life is just about finding coping mechanisms. Most of all you have to make sure you take care of yourself, so you can take care of everyone else! It's tough! Lots of love to you.
ReplyDeleteI hear you Mandy. It's hard when we're being pulled in every direction. But we are only human and sometimes the expectations we put on ourselves are more than what other people expect (if that makes sense.) I hope you can get back into your running. This year was meant to be my running year too, I did a 5km in March and everything went downhill from there!
ReplyDeleteOhhh Mandy,
ReplyDeleteLet it out! It makes you feel better!!
I know it might not help, but just know you are doing a fantastic job, you kids are happy and healthy and know you love them, and that is all that matters. xo
It's such a juggling act, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt's so tempting to just stop and let all those damn balls drop - but the guilt wouldn't be worth it.
It's overwhelming when everyone wants a piece (or ten) of you.
I hope those scales do tip very soon. Book a small patch of Mandy time this weekend - regardless of all the other stuff.
x
Oh I hear you Mandy. Sometimes its just so overwhelming and then other times it feels good to be so busy. I am hoping the better weather and daylight saving will help. Also, don't forget, your little one will get bigger and that makes life easier too I reckon. The work thing at night is tough...I struggle with that too. Not much comfort but I understand! : )
ReplyDelete