Tonight as I sit here I've read so many wonderful Mothers Day posts.
And I could have written my own warm and fuzzy reflection, but I've decided to reflect honestly on my day.
It was a good day, but it took a lot of effort to pull myself out of a negative mind set to enjoy myself today.
I love this quote on motherhood. It's so relative, regardless of where you are in the world.
"A choice you make everyday to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own" Today, despite the fact that it was Mothers Day was no exception.
After my parents recent separation I made the decision to head to the farm to spend Mothers Day with my mum. I wouldn't usually do this, but I didn't want her to be alone. In the end she was surrounded by family, we were all surrounded by one another.
So it's fair to say that I wasn't expecting breakfast in bed or anything that extreme, but I did go to sleep last night with visions of a little sleep in, Rod taking control of the children and allowing me to relax.
When I woke this morning at 6.30 because the light was shining through the sheer curtains and my boys were loudly keeping themselves amused, I was not overly impressed. Then when Rod declared he was sick (man flu) aka. 'you deal with it' I wasn't feeling the love.
I was selfishly thinking, 'It's bloody Mothers Day, aren't I the one that is supposed to stay in bed?'
I feed the kids, unstacked the dishwasher (for my mum), changed dirty nappies, dressed the kids, basically handled it all.
Mid morning Pa came and took Rod and the kids for a drive around the farm, I then proceed to pack everything up and load the car. All the while my frustration levels were brewing.
But then as I sat down and pondered my day thus far, I stopped and reminded myself that my day will be what I allow it to be. I can be frustrated and angry and I will be the one that suffers. No doubt my family will also suffer from my short temper.
What is Mother's Day anyway?
A day that we celebrate being a mother? What does that mean, how do you do that?
In reality everything I had done that morning was me being a mother wasn't it? I was spending quality time with the ones who love me the most. Who depend on me and can't bare to be without me.
"and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong" acknowledging that my mood was not getting me anywhere, that there are women out there that would look in on my life with envy, I forgave myself for my negative feelings and moved forward.
We loaded the car and headed off to my Aunty and Uncles house for lunch. The weather was crisp and a roast was the perfect accompaniment.
It was lovely to see my Nanny (who I often only see every second year at Christmas) and when my brother got wind we were all getting together, he decided to gatecrash and visit too. The more the merrier is definitely a great saying.
Left to Right: My Aunty, Nan, Lulu, Mum and Me (Four generations)
Rod and I had a bit of a laugh at the day as we sat at Mcdonalds at the rest stop on our drive home. "Mum is so lucky we've taken her to McDonalds for dinner isn't she" he asked the kids.
In their eyes it's a bloody good option, we giggled, we ate and then we hoped in the car and continued to drive home.