I think I'm suffering from the back to reality blues.
Hubby is back from Vegas and I am heading back to work. I've been cranky for the last day or two as I can't get my head around it.
It's only work I hear you say, and I know as I sit here and type this that I'm being completely ungrateful for what I have.
I'm struggling a bit at the moment, with positivity.
I hate my job, I hate that despite the fact that I go to work each week, we still struggle to get on top of it all. Living week to week is not my idea of living life.
I struggle with the fact that we've outgrown our home and can't afford to move. That everywhere I turn in my house I'm faced with a constant struggle of clutter and cramming.
I struggle that when I go to work the rest of the family is housebound because I take the car, that everything they can and can't do depends on the timing of it.
What I know......
I know I should be grateful I have a roof over my head.
I know I should be grateful that even though we live from week to week at least we can afford to put clothes on the kids back and food in their mouth.
I know I should be grateful that my children have some opportunities to participate in extra curricular activities as all.
And I know I'll snap out of this, get over myself and find a way to feel renewed about moving forward. But today I struggle.
Mandy.
And you acknowledge the struggle.
ReplyDeleteSo important.
Nothing wrong with a bit of a sook - often it's the thing that propels us to make necessary changes.
:-) xxx
I hear you... Great kids, opportunities and friends, nothing to complain about really, but somehow it is just not quite right. Oh and don't forget the guilt that goes along with not feeling appreciative. Luckily I know you and I know this won't last. I hope the funk is short and that you find what you are looking for really soon. xo
ReplyDeleteOh I understand that struggle Mandy. I felt very similar to what you describe here, last week. Feeling really sorry for myself and questioning everything we're doing and if it's actually getting us anywhere. It is hard when you outgrow your home, we definitely have, but we have no option but to push on and work through that mortgage.
ReplyDeleteLike yourself though, I am EXTRA grateful for all that I do have and for my two lovely boys and great hubby. It's all about looking at the positives I guess. Hope your return to work is better than you expect xo
big hugs hon - we can feel grateful and know we are blessed and still get upset and cranky about life. some things are in our control and we can make changes, other things just have to be lived with and then it comes down to pushing our mindset so it does not keep us down. I hope you can find ways to the other side of feeling the struggle. maybe there are some little changes that could get you through for now?
ReplyDeleteI hear you - I really do. I often do that struggle of knowing I have to work, to help keep us in clothes and shoes and food, but I resent it at times and that funk can be overwhelming...
ReplyDeleteI hope that sunshine is breaking through.