[HLS] WK 39 - 42 Relationships

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Week 39: Parenting

I know how I want to parent, I know what I expect.  Sometimes it’s right and other times I learn it is not so right.

When I review Our Family Motto I know that we are still on the right track, I still believe everything we put together at the beginning of the year.  I do however know we still have a long way to go.

‘We will strive to connect with one another through honest communication without yelling or hurting one another’

This will be my key focus over the next few weeks.

This is a statement that requires a lot of work.

It is through our communication that I have realised that our children mimic our own behaviour.

It is through our communication that I have realised when I am frustrated or cross with how my children are communicating, the behaviours they are displaying are 100% me.

I feel like the pressure, the expectations weighing on my shoulders seem to be getting bigger and bigger.  When things don’t go to plan I get frustrated.  I can often be heard muttering ‘bloody hell’ at the start of my sentence.  I’ve never given it much thought before, until Lulu started screaming things like ‘Bloody hell Thomas.......’  ‘Bloody hell this thing is crap...............’

I was not impressed with her tone, with her words and then like a slap in the face I realised it’s all me.

So I will try to think before I speak, I will try to use an appropriate tone in my voice.  When I’m angry with my children rather than yell I will attempt to speak to them, even if in a stern voice to get the point across.

I will also try to reduce the load by not taking on anything I don’t need to for the remainder of the year.  I will also attempt to not be so hard on myself, because usually those expectation weighing down on my shoulders are all my own.

Week 40: Negative or Toxic People

In the last twelve months I’ve really hit a peak in my life where I feel like I don’t ‘need’ people.  I mean let’s not kid ourselves, we need people, we need love from family and friends or we’d be pretty bloody lonely. 

But I’ve realised I don’t need to hang onto relationships because of other people’s expectations.

I don’t owe anybody anything, except perhaps for my husband and my children.

And I feel better for it.

I have a really lovely core group of friends in my local community who I am truly grateful for, people who love my family like we’re a part of theirs.

In a sense I am a little greedy, I ask ‘What does that person bring to my life’ if the answer is nothing then I have to question what they are doing in it.  That said for those that do bring something to my life or that of my family, I’ll nurture it and give back in return, because relationships require the attention of more than one person to succeed.

Week 41: Marriage

 When it comes to my marriage I will admit we’re in a pretty good place. 

We get along well, we can laugh together, we can sit down and watch a movie together, and we can have a drink together.

We are on the same page when it comes to parenting and tackle the task head on, together.

We don’t really argue, not really.  Sure we will disagree on things, but we don’t have bust ups, we might have a conversation three or four times over the space of a week until we reach a consensus.  You win some you lose some.

But probably the biggest thing that lacks in our relationships is quality us time.  You know, outside of watching a DVD together on the weekend after the kids have gone to bed.

Just last Thursday my hubby called me in the middle of the day.  I asked him ‘what can I do for you?’  His response ‘nothing, I just thought I’d call and say hi because we’ve barely crossed paths this week’ Tag teaming our working lives can be tough.

So bugger it, I’m going to organise a date night.  There is a movie out that we both really want to see.  I’ll organise a baby sitter and we’ll do dinner and a movie, simply because we deserve it.

Week 42: Friendships

I’ve mentioned above that for the first time in a long time I’m really happy with my friends right now.  I feel content and happy with the friendships I have in my life.

Not having grown up in Melbourne I have a few close friends who live in distant places.  I’ve learnt to accept them for what they are.  These friendships are valuable, but it is OK if we don’t speak often or see each other often as long as when we do we pick up where we left off.

And locally, my friends support me both in a physical and emotional sense, and I am well aware that they deserve the same respect.

This is a part of the Simplify your Life Challenge.

Cheers


Mandy